Presenting: How You Can Tell I’m A White Girl From MT

   Sometimes I forget how obvious it is that I am from this state:

“Montana is the 4th-most extensive, but the 7th-least populous and the 3rd-least densely populated of the 50 United States. The economy is primarily based on services, with ranching, wheat farming, oil and coal mining in the east, and lumber, tourism, and hard rock mining in the west.” - Wikipedia

   Yeah.

   I live my life every day assuming it is fairly similar to the lives of 20-somethings across the U.S, but recently I have discovered that it is not. What with reality shows, social websites, and various other sources of information I have realized I am abnormal. Here is why.

1. Layers

   When we first moved to Montana, my family learned a very important secret known as “layering”. In layman’s terms, layering is the act of putting multiple articles of clothing on, one on top of the other, until you either a) can’t put your arms down or b) feel uncomfortably itchy and/or warm. Simple concept. Every single time we left the house, rain or shine, my dad would call out, “don’t forget your layers!”

   I am embarrassed to admit that I am now the Layer Reminder-er.

   When I go somewhere with my friends: “Don’t forget your wind layer!”

   When I go on a date with my boyfriend: “It’ll get cooler later! Don’t forget an extra layer!”

   Probably to myself as I’m dressing for the day: “Ooh, I’d hate to get cold at work! Better grab another layer!”

   It’s a curse.

   So yes, that is me. I’m the girl walking down the street with a sweatshirt draped over my arm “for later” and a windbreaker in my bag “just in case”. I’D HATE TO BE WITHOUT AN EXTRA LAYER.

2. My Car

Three things here that give away my Montana-ness.

Windshield: Is cracked. Really badly. Not just a few little chips here and there, but cracked. Something similar to this:

How long has it been cracked like that, you ask? Well let’s see…I bought it in September of 2008 and then that dump truck flung a rock at me on Highway 93 in about November of that year so…I’d say it’s been cracked like that since…

NOVEMBER OF 2008.

Radio Stations: Are all country stations. Enough said.

Cleanliness: Exists only on the inside. After the dump truck incident that chipped my windshield, I tried the automatic carwash and THAT was a mistake. (Sidenote: don’t take your car through an automatic carwash if it was parked in the shade all morning then driven to town on a 95 degree day and you have a slight crack in your windshield. You’re welcome.) 
   You’re probably wondering why I don’t just go to the manual carwash instead. Well, the answer to that is I don’t carry cash therefore I can’t put any bills into the quarter-maker machine which means I’d have to go out of my way to get cash before driving to the manual carwash. I guess a simpler way of saying that is I’m too lazy. Either one.

Last but not least...


3. Summer Tan Lines

Hey, look! It’s me in a bathing suit!

And that about sums it up.