the bubble.

   So if you’ve been around me anytime within the last few weeks, you’ve probably heard me referencing something I call “the bubble”. It’s something I made up, or something I heard somewhere that I felt the need to elaborate upon, and now something I constantly refer to when trying to solve problems. Everyone’s problems.

   Here’s the breakdown.

   What do you do every day? I personally wake up fairly early, go to school all day, go to work, do homework, sleep, repeat. That’s my agenda for four of the seven days that make up my weeks. Not so bad, right? It’s manageable.

   It’s not necessarily the activities that my days consist of that create the “bubble”, it’s my surroundings. I go to the same buildings on campus, the same classrooms, deal with the same people. At some point along the way, my world has shrunk.

   Some days I forget where I live. The reality is I’m currently residing in Montana, a state some people don’t even know exists. Yes, I have been asked what state Montana is in… Beyond that, I forget I am living in a very small town located in this apparently “pretend” state. What’s more is I’m attending a University that may be considered “big” in Montana standards, but is probably a joke to most secondary educational institutions out there. And even more, I’m enrolled in one of the school’s smallest degree programs.

   See where I’m going here?

   Everything I stress about, get emotional about, am concerned about, dream about, and excel at is inside this teeny tiny bubble I have created for myself. It’s so hard for me to see beyond the walls of my own little world sometimes – I literally forget that there is more to life than what I do every day.

   It’s disturbing, really.

   Everything I do is something I consciously chose. No one is forcing me to get up early, no one demands I take the classes I do, I haven’t signed a contract in blood that I have to work two jobs.

   How, then, am I able to complain about everything?

   It’s strange to me that this “bubble” concept is something I am aware of and yet tend to regularly ignore.

   As morbid as it is, I could die in a couple years. Heck, I could die tomorrow. It freaks me out to think that my short life would predominately consist of stress, unhappiness, and delusion. I in no way regret attending college and trying as hard as I do, that’s just who I am and what I currently believe is in my best interest. But seriously, self – you need to get out of this routine of self-pity. It’s unattractive, unhealthy, and stupid.

   This is what is out there:

   When I was eleven I was presented with the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” I wrote:

be happy & healthy

   It’s not too late to follow my own advice, I don’t think.