the word “definitely”

   It is the bane of the English language’s existence. Yeah, I said it.

   For some completely unknown reason, we as English-speaking humans struggle with this simple word seemingly more than any other combination of letters known to man. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration considering there are plenty of other complex words, such as exaggeration, that are much more difficult and which I would struggle to spell if it weren’t for some handy help. Thank you, auto spell corrector. But still, it really shouldn’t be that challenging.

   Let’s look into the word in a laidback manner:

   The base of the word “definitely” is “define”; that’s a pretty easy word, right? Spelled just how it sounds. We could even break it down further for all you dyslexics: “de” as in to undo something, and “fine” as in how I look.

   Alright, so now we have the simple “de” and we slide “fine” in right next to it. Now comes the tricky part. Somewhere along this process, we must move the E in DEFINE. We put the word “it” where the E would usually be if whoever created this god-awful language wasn’t so cruel. So now we’ve got DEFINITE. Hey looky there! That’s a word! Not quite sure how to use it, though…

   Moving on, we add the most integral part of our process: the end. Stick an “ly” to that sucker! We don’t, under any circumstances, add any other letters. Where people pull A’s and extra I’s and take E’s from, I do not know. But I do know that it thoroughly pisses me off.

Definately  = what??

Definetly = nope…

Definitiley = just stop.

Ending result: DEFINITELY! What is so complicated about that???

   I am a Facebook frequenter and there is nothing that I detest and resent more than watching someone repetitively misspell this common word. Ok, another exaggeration. I also resent animal abusers, but somehow that seems a little too deep for a blog post.  Each time I happen upon this gross error, it becomes a mental battle over whether I should correct the mistake and make the post-er feel stupid, or do nothing and allow it to be seen by others who will think “Oh so that’s how they spell it…huh. Welp, I’m gonna spell it that way now, too! ‘Cuz I’m dumb!” Yes, that was mean.

   Thus far, I have refrained from correcting the numerous pathetic attempts at spelling a simple word and I feel good about it. I would hate to really hurt someone’s feelings by saying something along the lines of “Who taught you how to spell? Helen Keller?” Because that would be just plain unkind.