Presenting: Reasons I Choose Country Music

   Before I moved to Montana, I did not listen to country music. Sometimes my grandpa would play some Merle Haggard or Johnny Cash but that was the extent of my exposure. I stuck to the traditional 4^th grade girl genres such as Aaron Carter and Spice Girls. Yes, I do still have all the songs memorized.

   After the big move, my lifestyle made a 180 degree change. My house got smaller, my yard got bigger, my dad bought a cowboy hat, we got a cat, and my parents preset the radios in our cars to country music stations.

   It was hard for me to get used to. I wasn’t keen on slow songs that made you tear up for no reason, or fast-paced songs that made you feel like you were in the middle of some rowdy bluegrass festival. Over time I got used to the tempo and subject matter, even memorizing a few lines and choruses here and there.

   Looking back, I wholly appreciate my parents’ decision to move us up to Big Sky Country. Thanks to them I have been able to stay away from the following “popular songs”:

1.     “Scream” by Usher

Lines from the song:

“Getting’ drunk off the thought of you naked”
“Now relax and get on your back”
“Hope you’re ready to go all night”

   Kids sing this song. Little eleven year old girls are jamming out to this song, singing about some guy watching a girl in a club and fantasizing about “making her scream” “all night” “on her back”. Whaa??

2.     “Starships” by Nicki Minaj

Lyrics:

“So give me more, more, ‘til I can’t stand”
“I’ma blow all my money and don’t give two sh*ts”
“We’re higher than a motherf***er”
“But f*** who you want, and f*** who you like”

   So basically Nicki is telling us it’s socially acceptable to get so drunk that you can’t stand up, spend all your money and not care about it, get high, and sleep with anyone and everyone you want. Oh, and she throws in some attractive “sentence enhancers” in basically every line. Go ahead, kids! Listen to this song! It is #11 on this week’s Top 40 chart so obviously it’s awesome. Hopefully our youngins take some life tips from this great piece of artistry.

3.     “Whistle” by Flo Rida

Some lines:

“And I’m betting you like girls that give love to girls”
“Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it, on me”
And the most important and repeated line: “Can you blow my whistle baby…put your lips together and you come real close”

   Um. I highly doubt there are people listening to this song who really think he’s talking about a whistle. He is not talking about a whistle. He sang an entire song about a woman doing a particular deed AND it’s on American Top 40! What is wrong with this world?! It’s not a whistle, people! Ugh this song just gives me the creeps.

Moving on to my preferred genre...

4.     “Kissed You Good Night” by Gloriana

Lyrics:

“And I kissed you goodnight”
“Praying that you wouldn’t go”
“Half scared to death can’t catch my breath, aren’t these the moments we live for”

   Awww! Such a cute song. This is romantic movie material, almost The Notebook-esque. Notice there are no vulgar words OR insinuated nasty deeds – how strange! This song is #2 on Bob Kinglsey’s Country Countdown by the way.

5.     “Even If It Breaks Your Heart” by the Eli Young Band

Some lines:

“Keep on dreamin’, even if it breaks your heart”
“Gotta keep believin’ if you wanna know for sure”
“I can hear the ringin’ of a beat up ol’ guitar”

   A song that actually offers valid advice?! Who woulda thunk.

   So this is why I listen to country music. And why my children and their children and even their children will listen to country music. Usher, Nicki Minaj, and Flo Rida can all run in traffic.